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There's No Way to Experience Gratitude & Anxiety at the Same Time

How Focusing on Gratitude Can Alter Your Brain

 

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BY JENNY SMITH MATTFELDT Published October 23, 2024

family holding hands and expressing gratitude around the Thanksgiving  dinner table

The "dopamine menu" trend on is all over Instagram right now. It's all about shifting your focus from mindless scrolling on your phone to real-life activities that spark gratitude and give genuine dopamine hits. Basically, you create a list of things you love to do, then when you find yourself scrolling endlessly on your phone you pivot and choose something from that list to boost your mood. The trend was originally for those with ADHD so they'd have a list of healthy things to focus on instead of their phones but to me this is just a fancy way of practicing gratitude (which of course, I love.)





Practicing gratitude is proven to make us feel better, but why? Is it just because we’re focusing on the good parts of our lives? Not completely, gratitude actually rewires our brains. In Dan Baker’s book What Happy People Know he explains, “The brain cannot be in a state of appreciation and a state of fear at the same time...the two states may alternate but are mutually exclusive.” That means you can’t feel both gratitude and anxiety at the same time— an incredible insight into how gratitude alters our lives.


"The brain cannot be in a state of appreciation and a state of fear at the same time, the two states may alternate but are mutually exclusive"

Gratitude triggers the regions in the brain linked to positive feelings, emotional regulation, and reward while anxiety activates the fear and stress responses. Since these circuits function separately focusing on gratitude essentially shuts down your body's anxiety response, making it difficult to experience both positive and negative emotions simultaneously. This is what helps create a calming effect when you practice gratitude.


This doesn't always have to look like "I'm grateful for x because..." sometimes it can look like taking a second to think about your best friend and how much you laugh when you're together, what about noticing you're missing someone and reaching out to check on them, and maybe even thinking about an event you have coming up that gives you butterflies you're so excited about it. Here are a few journalling prompts from Vanilla Papers to help you get started;


  1. What's one positive thing in your life that you often take for granted?

  2. Describe three things you love about your home and the place you live.

  3. What's a small act of kindness you've experienced recently?

  4. List three ways your life is better now than it was a year ago.

  5. Describe the qualities you admire most about your friends.

  6. What's your favorite compliment someone has ever given you?

  7. What are three things coming up that you're looking forward to?

  8. Describe a place that always feels like home.

  9. Who is a mentor or role model that has had a significant impact on your life?

  10. What's one thing you can do to treat yourself today?


Incorporating gratitude into your daily life doesn’t have to be complicated—it can be as simple as a quick shift in focus. Whether you’re using the "dopamine menu" or simply reflecting on what brings you joy, practicing gratitude can help calm anxiety whenever you need it. By rewiring your brain and replacing stress with appreciation, you’re actively choosing peace. So, the next time you're overwhelmed, take a moment to focus on what you’re grateful for— and not to be cheesy but I'm grateful for you.


woman in flannel shirt practicing gratitude hands praying


 

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