12 Lessons From 12 Months; Reinvention, Taking Action, & Realizing No One is Coming to Save You

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By JENNY SMITH MATTFELDT Published January 13, 2025

This was the year of change, growth, action, and babies (don’t get excited, not me). In no particular order, here are the messages that have really stuck with me this year. With growth comes a lot of lessons and I’m pretty sure I’m not alone when I say I feel like a completely different person now than I was at the beginning of 2024. I hope they can serve as a reminder for you, too.

Nobody is Coming to Save You. Period.

We’re not sugarcoating a thing right now, so let’s get straight to it: it’s way too easy for our brains to default to “Well, once I’m with a great guy,” or “Once my parent steps in,” or “Once Trump gets back into office,” or “Once my boss helps me figure this out,” as an excuse to dodge taking responsibility for our own lives. The truth it’s all on you, baby. But how exciting is that?

Your Intuition Will Always Tell You if a Decision is Right for You

I don’t know if it’s just me, but I finally realized this year that when I’m overthinking a situation, constantly changing my mind, or asking everyone else for advice, it’s my intuition waving a big red flag that something isn’t right. On the flip side, when I make a decision without hesitation and other people’s opinions don’t really sway me, that’s when I know I’m fully tuned into my intuition.

As women, we have this incredible gift of intuition, it’s like a built-in compass. And the more you trust it, the stronger and clearer it becomes. Deep down, you always know what’s right for you. You just have to trust yourself enough to listen.

Every Type of Long Term Relationship Will Go Through Phases

This one can be tough to recognize in the moment, but if a relationship is going to last for years, it’s bound to go through phases. There will be times when you’re inseparable, and times when things feel a little off and you can’t quite put your finger on why. Just like you’d extend grace in a romantic relationship, knowing it evolves over time, friendships are no different.

When things start to feel different, take a breath and give it space. In healthy, loving, and equal relationships, you’ll always find your way back to each other. But that only happens when you allow the friendship the freedom to change, grow, and evolve with you.

You Can Start Fresh Any Time You Want To

This concept is one of the loves of my life. I’m a lover of Mondays, the first of the month, and New Year’s because they all carry that powerful energy of who do I want to be? What do I want this to look like? It’s so exciting.

We get so caught up in our 'human' side that we think life has to stay the same just because that’s how it’s always been. But let me tell you, that’s not true. If you take away anything from my content, let it be this: you have the power to make decisions today that can completely change your life. Sometimes, all it takes is a small perspective shift, and that alone can change everything.

You could go get a tattoo today, and you’ll forever be the type of person who gets tattoos. You could text your girlfriends today, telling them how much you love and appreciate them, and suddenly, you’re the kind of friend who effortlessly gives love. Starting fresh doesn’t always have to look like a cross-country move or a whole new wardrobe, it can be as simple as a new habit, a new friend, or a new perspective. This idea of reinvention is one of my favorite things in life.

Intentions Mean Nothing Without Action

Intentions mean nothing without action. You can say it, read it, repeat it all you want—but you don’t truly get it until you really get it. There’s a reason the saying, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions,” has stood the test of time.

You can intend to be a good person, you can intend to go to the gym, you can intend to save for retirement, you can intend to find a better job, but without taking action, those intentions mean absolutely nothing. One day, you’ll wake up, and ten years will have passed. If you haven’t backed up those intentions with action, you won’t have moved an inch. This is the disconnect that trips up so many people when it comes to manifesting and spiritual work, you can pray and journal all you want, but you also have to hold up your end of the bargain, you have to leave the house and get after it.

Truly Enjoying Where You Are is the Only Way to Speed Up Manifestations

It might seem like a paradox, but when you’re desperately trying to manifest something or pushing to get somewhere in life, you’re often repelling it. Desperation has a way of pushing opportunities away because the energy of longing and neediness isn’t aligned with the flow of abundance.

The fastest way to shift your life and manifest something wonderful is to focus on truly enjoying and having fun right where you are. When you embrace the present moment and decide to bloom where you’re planted, that beautiful, grounded energy naturally attracts more positive experiences and opportunities.

Healing is Never Linear

Ah, this old classic. It’s a cliché for a reason. Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out, life has a way of knocking you on your ass. You have to figure out a way to step back and zoom out to see the bigger picture.

If you’ve made forward progress, no matter how small, it’s still progress. Those little steps add up, even if the journey feels messy or slower than you’d like. Trust the process and give yourself credit for how far you’ve come, even on the days it doesn’t feel like enough. Progress is progress, period.

You're Probably Overthinking It

I’m not sure I come across as an overthinker, but if I’m honest, I think I use it as a crutch, an excuse not to take action. This really goes hand in hand with 'intentions mean nothing without action' but it was a huge theme for me this year.

Right now, I bet you can think of at least one thing you’ve been putting off because you’re overthinking it. Maybe it’s reaching out to someone, making a move, trying a new class, setting a boundary, or having that hard conversation. Deep down, we both know that once you stop overthinking and just make yourself do the thing, you’ll feel a million times better.

Our brains are wired to protect us, they hate the unknown. They’d rather keep us stuck in familiar (and sometimes uncomfortable) situations than risk stepping into something uncertain, even if it’s better for us in the long run. But here’s the thing: action is what breaks the cycle. Every time you push past the overthinking and just go for it, you prove to your brain that you’re capable, and that’s how growth happens.

Self Pity is the Fastest Way to Become Depressed

I want to start with a caveat: this doesn’t apply to everyone, especially if you’re dealing with heavy mental health challenges. But in my own life, I’ve noticed a pattern, when I’m stuck in a rut or in a bad place, almost 100% of the time, I’ve been slipping into a mindset of self-pity and feeling like a victim. It’s a tough truth, but self-pity and avoiding responsibility for your own life are some of the fastest ways to spiral into depression.

I read a passage this year that really resonated for me: “Self-pity is the opposite of connecting to God, it’s the slippery slope to depression.” That was a hard pill to swallow, but it brought clarity. When we’re at our lowest, leaning into God instead of self-pity might just be the way out. It’s not easy, but it’s a powerful reminder that even in our hardest moments, we’re not alone, and there’s always a way forward.

You Are Allowed to Feel Worthy and Beautiful Exactly the Way You Are

I don’t think this struggle is just mine, I fear it’s a women’s thing in general. Tell me why it took me until this year to finally think, “What if I was just happy with myself as I am right now?” I usually feel pretty confident, but there’s always that little voice in the back of my mind whispering, “Okay, but I’ll work on [insert body issue here],” or, “It’s good, but it’ll be so much better once I fix [some other perceived flaw].” Honestly, I think I just got tired of it. This year, I had the stark realization: What if I feel like this for the rest of my life? That thought alone felt so exhausting it snapped me into a reality check.

Yes, it’s amazing to work on yourself, to get in shape, or to play with trends. But here’s the truth: you are allowed to feel worthy right now, exactly as you are. Self-love isn’t about giving up on growth; it’s about knowing your worth isn’t tied to what you achieve or fix. It’s already yours, just as you are.

Let Go and Let God

I’m usually the friend handing out this kind of advice, what can I say? I’ve got that self-development, go-after-anything-you-want-in-life energy. But this year, I had to take my own advice, and let me tell you it was not as easy on this side. It’s gut-wrenching when you envision how something will turn out, only for life to pull the rug out from under you and hand you something completely different.

In those moments, when you’re knee-deep in uncertainty, you have to pause and let this truth sink in: it’s going to work out in the best way possible for you. God’s answer is always “yes” or “something better.” That doesn’t mean it’ll be smooth sailing, sometimes it’s the hardest roads that turn us into the kind of person we wanted to be. But I wholeheartedly believe we always end up somewhere better than we could have imagined.

Be Picky About Who You Decide to Marry

This is one area of life where I’ve been profoundly blessed, but let me tell you, who you choose to marry impacts every single facet of your life and the person you become. It’s like the concept of “you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with,” but on steroids, because this is the person you’ll be with more than anyone else. So, if you’re in the dating phase right now, take your time and be unapologetically picky. You’re not just choosing a partner; you’re shaping your future self and the life you’ll wake up to every single day. Choose wisely, it’s worth it.

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