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By JENNY SMITH MATTFELDT Published December 3, 2024
There’s a pattern I’ve noticed in myself, my friends, and even the mentors I admire— especially among women. Whether it’s starting a project, launching a business, or simply exploring a new idea, we often put off taking action because things aren’t “perfect” yet. On the surface, this feels logical— I mean preparation is important. But our brains have a sneaky way of using perfection as an excuse to stall. Beneath it all, it’s often fear of the unknown pumping the brakes, keeping us from taking that leap of faith to just get started.
The tough thing is we often don’t even realize this is happening. Our brains are very good at convincing us we’re just being cautious or strategic when in reality, we’re stuck in a loop of waiting for “perfect.” The first step to breaking free is recognizing it for what it is. Take a moment to reflect: are there areas in your life where you’re holding yourself back under the guise of protection or perfection? Maybe it sounds like, “I’d love to start, but it’s not ready yet,” or, “Once [insert excuse here] happens, I’ll finally get going.” These thoughts feel valid, but they’re often just fear wearing a mask.
To overcome this paradox some of the most knowledgeable people you can turn to are experts like Mel Robbins and Ed Mylett. They consistently emphasize a mix of mindset shifts and practical actions:
Just Start Anyway (Mel Robbins): Robbins advocates for the “5-Second Rule.” When you feel hesitation creeping in, count down from five and then make yourself take action when you hit one. This interrupts your brain’s tendency to overanalyze and pushes you into motion before fear can take over. She emphasizes that clarity and confidence come from action, not the other way around.
Shrink the Goal (Ed Mylett): Mylett encourages breaking down overwhelming goals into smaller, bite-sized actions. Or in the words of one of my most practical uncles, "you have to eat an elephant one bite at a time." Instead of focusing on the entire project or big dream, ask yourself, “what’s one small thing I can do today?” This lowers the stakes and makes starting less intimidating. It's also how you start to build your confidence, self confidence comes from keeping promises to yourself. When you tell yourself you're going to do something— do it.
Shift the Focus to Progress: Both experts agree that perfection is the enemy of progress. By celebrating small wins and focusing on the steps you are taking, you’ll build momentum and confidence. Momentum isn't something that's just blessed upon us it's energy that we have the ability to build up. Start with a couple small steps forward and before you know it you'll be running.
Reframe Fear as Excitement: Fear and excitement are closely related emotions. Robbins suggests flipping the narrative. Instead of saying, “I’m scared to do this,” try, “I’m excited to see how this turns out.” This small shift can trick your brain into leaning into action.
Commit to Discipline Over Motivation (Mylett): Motivation is fleeting, but discipline gets the job done. Mylett recommends creating habits and routines that make action automatic, so you don’t rely on fleeting feelings of inspiration. The whole game changes when you commit to getting everything done regardless of how you're feeling about it that day.
The only thing that is going to combat that fear of starting is action. So, don’t save this article for the future— make a move today. What have you been putting off in the name of perfection? Think of one baby step you can take right now to move closer to your goals. Maybe it’s buying the domain for your dream business, going for that walk, hitting the gym, or finally cracking open that perfect journal you’ve been too scared to "mess up." Or maybe it’s something bigger, like asking for the promotion you deserve or letting go of a relationship that’s been holding you back. Whatever it is, count back from five and just fucking do it.
I love you all so much, and I’m here for you whatever it is you're starting. If this resonated or you’d like to talk more about it, don’t hesitate to reach out— I’d love to hear from you.
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